The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F. by Mark Mason

 2.  The common cultural narratives would tell me that I somehow failed myself, that I am a quitter or a loser, that I just did not "have it', that I gave up on my dream and that maybe I let myself succumb to the pressures of society.

But, the truth is far less interesting than any of these explanations. The truth is, I thought I wantedout something, but it turns out I did not. End of story.

I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love with not the fight but only the victory.

And life does not work that way.

Who you are is defined by what you're willing to struggle for.

People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who run triathlons. People enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it.

This is not about willpower or grit. This is not another admonishment of "no pain, no gain'. This is the most simple and basic component of life: Out Struggle Determines Our Successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, slightly, upgraded problems.

See: it's a never-ending upward spiral. If you think at any point you're allowed to stop climbing, I am afraid you're missing the point. Because the joy is in the climb itself.

3. When "real traumatic shit" like this happens in our lives, we begin to unconsciously feel as though we have problems that we're incapable of ever solving. And this assumed inability to solve our problems causes us to feel miserable and helpless. 

 But, it also causes something else to happen. IF we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figure that we're uniquely special or uniquely defective in some way. That we're somehow unlike everyone else and that the rules must be different for us. 

Put simply: we become entitled.

A lot of people are afraid to accept mediocrity because they believe that if they accept it, they'll never achieve anything, never improve, and that their life won't matter. This sort of thinking is dangerous. Once you accept the premise that a lie is worthwhile only if it is truly notable and great, then you basically accept that the fact that most of the human population sucks and is worthless.  The rare people who do become truly exceptional at something do so not because they believe they are exceptional. On the contrary, they become amazing because they are obsessed with improvement. It's anti-entitlement.